WeMet Journal
A practical checklist for meeting someone new: before, on the day, during and after, plus official safety guidance for AU, NZ, SG, US and CA.
FIRST DATES
How do you stay safe meeting someone for the first time?
A short, practical checklist for before, on the day, during and after you meet someone you've only known online — plus where to find your country's official guidance.
Last updated: 6 October 2026
Meeting someone for the first time after getting to know them online is still meeting a stranger, however many messages or calls came before it. The basics are simple and they work: meet in public, get yourself there and back, tell someone, talk before you meet, keep money out of it, and leave whenever you want to. None of this is specific to online dating. It's the same sense you'd use meeting anyone new, applied on purpose instead of left to chance.
Before you meet
Do a few small things in the days before, while you're calm and not already standing in the venue.
Have a video call first. A short call, even ten minutes, tells you more than another week of messages: does the person look and sound like their profile, do they seem comfortable with their camera on, is the conversation easy. The eSafety Commissioner lists excuses not to video chat or meet as one of its online dating red flags.
Pick a public, busy place. A café, a bar with other people around, a daytime market — somewhere with staff and other customers, not somewhere isolated or at either person's home. NZ Police safety advice recommends arranging to catch up in a busy location.
Tell a friend and share your location. Say where you're going, who you're meeting and roughly when you'll be done, and share your live location if your phone lets you. The eSafety Commissioner's guidance makes the same point: tell a friend or family member where you're going and when, and share your location so they can check you got home safely. NZ Police safety advice gives the same advice: tell a close friend when meeting someone for the first time, where you're going and who you're meeting.
Keep your home address and workplace private until you trust someone. You can share these later. There's no need to volunteer them before a first meeting.
Never send money, gift cards or financial help, no matter the story attached to it. The same advice appears in official guidance from Australia's eSafety Commissioner, Singapore's ScamShield, the US FTC and the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre. If someone you haven't met in person asks for money, that's the end of it.
On the day
Arrange your own transport there and back. Drive yourself, book your own ride, or take public transport you control. Don't rely on the other person to pick you up or drop you home, especially for a first meeting.
Confirm the plan again, briefly, so your friend knows it's still on and where.
During the meeting
Keep an eye on your drink. Don't leave it unattended, and if you do, order a fresh one rather than going back to it. This is ordinary bar-safety advice, not specific to online dating, and it still applies.
Watch for pressure, not just words. The eSafety Commissioner's red flags for online dating include pressure to meet in person faster than feels comfortable, pressure to move communication off the platform quickly, love bombing, and excuses not to video chat or meet. The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre adds another: discouraging you from discussing the relationship with friends and family. None of these alone proves anything, but together they're worth noticing.
You can leave any time, and you owe no explanation. "I need to head off" is a complete sentence. If something feels wrong, trust that over politeness. The eSafety Commissioner puts it plainly: trust your instincts, and if you feel uneasy, don't meet up. If you're already there, you can still leave. If you are in immediate danger, call 000 (Australia) or your local emergency number.
After you meet
Let your friend know you're done and okay. Close the loop you opened before you left.
If anything felt off, say so to someone, and consider reporting it. You can screenshot a profile and messages before you meet, so you still have a record even if the person blocks you afterwards — advice the eSafety Commissioner gives for exactly this reason. If money was involved anywhere, Australians can find Scamwatch's advice linked from the eSafety Commissioner's guidance, Singaporeans can call the ScamShield Helpline on 1799, Americans can report to the FTC or the FBI's IC3, and Canadians can contact the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre.
Official guidance where you live
Each of these is a government body or, for Netsafe, New Zealand's online safety organisation, in the order WeMet serves these countries.
Australia. The eSafety Commissioner's online dating guidance covers red flags, what to do before meeting, and what to do if you feel unsafe. If you are in Australia and in immediate danger, call Triple Zero (000).
New Zealand. NZ Police safety advice covers telling a friend, choosing a busy meeting place, and trusting your instincts; Netsafe's online dating guide is further reading from New Zealand's online safety organisation. New Zealand's emergency number for Police, Fire and Ambulance is 111.
Singapore. ScamShield's guide to internet love scams warns against sending money or gift cards to someone you haven't met in person, and the Singapore Police Force's advisory on internet love scams describes how scammers befriend victims and talk them into paying for supposed gifts or financial help. Singapore's emergency number is 999; the ScamShield Helpline is 1799.
United States. The FTC's guidance on romance scams covers never sending money and reverse-searching profile photos; report fraud at reportfraud.ftc.gov or to the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center. The US emergency number is 911.
Canada. Between them, the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre's guidance on romance and relationship scams and Get Cyber Safe's guide to romantic red flags cover pressure to move to a private channel, excuses not to meet, refusing video calls and love bombing. Canada's emergency number is 911.
What WeMet does, and doesn't, before a first meeting
WeMet (wemet.dating) is a modern matchmaking service for adults in Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, the United States and Canada. There is no chat between members before you both say yes, so you never have to carry a long written exchange before you know whether the other person is interested. A photo check compares a selfie with the main profile photo before anyone appears to another member. Once you both say yes, you'll both see each other's contact details straight away, and you can also chat for up to 7 days to plan a meeting. Chat is plain text only. WeMet checks messages for safety; a person reviews anything flagged.
None of that tells you about someone's history, and it doesn't make a first meeting risk-free. The checklist above still applies, every time, for every introduction, however it started. WeMet's standards for members are set out at Standards.
Introductions have started in Singapore. Other cities open one by one. For how the rest of the process works, read how WeMet works and why WeMet doesn't use swiping, a feed or chat.
FAQ
What is one first-meeting safety habit worth keeping? Tell a friend where you're going, who you're meeting and when you expect to be back, and share your live location with them. It costs nothing, takes a minute, and means someone else knows to check in on you. Send them a short message when you're done, too.
Should I video call before meeting in person? It helps. A short video call before you meet lets you check that the person looks and sounds like their profile, and gives you a feel for them with far less pressure than meeting face to face for the first time. If they keep avoiding a call, treat that as information.
Is it rude to leave a first meeting early? No. You can leave any time and you owe no explanation. A short, polite line — "I need to head off" — is enough. If something feels wrong, trust that feeling over politeness. You don't need to finish the drink or the meal before you go.
Should I ever send money to someone I haven't met in person? No. Official guidance on this page from Australia, Singapore, the United States and Canada warns against sending money or gifts to someone you haven't met in person, and treats a request for money as a red flag. If someone you haven't met asks for money, stop there and talk to someone you trust.
What does WeMet do about safety before a first meeting? WeMet runs a photo check before anyone appears to another member. Once you both say yes, you'll both see each other's contact details straight away, and you can also chat for up to 7 days to plan a meeting. Chat is plain text only. WeMet checks messages for safety; a person reviews anything flagged. WeMet does not look into members' personal history, and no introduction can make a first meeting risk-free.
Questions
What is one first-meeting safety habit worth keeping?
Tell a friend where you're going, who you're meeting and when you expect to be back, and share your live location with them. It costs nothing, takes a minute, and means someone else knows to check in on you. Send them a short message when you're done, too.
Should I video call before meeting in person?
It helps. A short video call before you meet lets you check that the person looks and sounds like their profile, and gives you a feel for them with far less pressure than meeting face to face for the first time. If they keep avoiding a call, treat that as information.
Is it rude to leave a first meeting early?
No. You can leave any time and you owe no explanation. A short, polite line — 'I need to head off' — is enough. If something feels wrong, trust that feeling over politeness. You don't need to finish the drink or the meal before you go.
Should I ever send money to someone I haven't met in person?
No. Official guidance on this page from Australia, Singapore, the United States and Canada warns against sending money or gifts to someone you haven't met in person, and treats a request for money as a red flag. If someone you haven't met asks for money, stop there and talk to someone you trust.
What does WeMet do about safety before a first meeting?
WeMet runs a photo check before anyone appears to another member. Once you both say yes, you'll both see each other's contact details straight away, and you can also chat for up to 7 days to plan a meeting. Chat is plain text only. WeMet checks messages for safety; a person reviews anything flagged. WeMet does not look into members' personal history, and no introduction can make a first meeting risk-free.